Leah Brooks
2 February at 19:42 · Friends
Jordan claims he is “just browsing” in a bookshop. Nobody believes him. He has already bought two books and a tote bag.
📚 14 · 💬 3 comments
Jordan Patel
12 February at 08:06 · Public
Train delayed again. At this point I have formed a meaningful emotional bond with Platform 3.
😩 18 · 💬 5 comments
Leah: Character building.
Jordan: I have enough character now.
Ava Hart
3 March at 18:42 · Public
Big welcome to Jordan Patel joining Buggy Bank in Customer Operations. First badge selfie survived HR review. Barely.
👍 42 · 💬 9 comments
Jordan: I look like I understand finance.
Mia: That is the real deception.
Jordan Patel
5 March at 17:48 · Public
Exciting news from my new workplace! Buggy Bank has launched its new website and I have apparently been trusted to help drum up some new business. No pressure, then. 😅
Whether you're looking for a current account, somewhere to keep your savings, or a bank with suspiciously enthusiastic new employees, take a look:
Shares greatly appreciated. My career in financial marketing may depend on it.
👍 31 · 💬 6 comments
Leah: Look at you, fully employed and promoting things.
Jordan: Please open an account so my manager thinks this worked.
Samir: Does sharing it count as financial advice?
Jordan: Legally, I hope not.
Jordan Patel
6 March at 12:14 · Friends
Important workplace discovery: office coffee is technically liquid optimism, but only just.
☕ 20 · 💬 4 comments
Samir: Your mug looks haunted.
Jordan: It has seen the rota.
Mia Carter
9 March at 17:33 · Friends
Jordan has been at Buggy Bank for less than a week and already has strong opinions about meeting room chairs.
😂 11 · 💬 2 comments
Jordan: Ergonomics matter.
Ava: So does arriving on time.
Jordan Patel
14 March at 21:08 · Friends
Watched a film so bad it became educational. I now understand three new ways a plot can collapse.
🍿 25 · 💬 6 comments
Leah: Was it at least funny?
Jordan: Not intentionally.
Samir Khan
24 March at 18:50 · Public
Jordan's new Buggy Bank pass has arrived. He is now officially allowed near spreadsheets and questionable printer decisions.
👍 33 · 💬 7 comments
Jordan: Staff ID BB-59384. Basically a secret agent.
Mia: Please do not say that in the office.
Jordan Patel
28 March at 08:54 · Friends
Rain so aggressive this morning it felt personally motivated.
🌧️ 16 · 💬 3 comments
Samir: Did you bring a coat?
Jordan: Define 'bring'.
Nina Taylor
4 April at 13:21 · Friends
Lunch review: Jordan described this as 'nutritionally strategic'. I would describe it as 'a meeting between several confused vegetables'.
😂 19 · 💬 7 comments
Jordan: I stand by my lunch.
Leah: Your lunch needs legal advice.
Jordan Patel
8 April at 20:10 · Public
Joined Peak Performance Athletic Club. They said 'welcome to your fitness journey'. I said 'thanks, I mainly came for the vending machine'.
🏋️ 29 · 💬 5 comments
Samir: Membership ID reveal or it didn't happen.
Jordan: 771204. Now please respect my athletic era.
Samir Khan
12 April at 09:03 · Public
Happy birthday to Jordan Patel! 27 today and still claiming protein yoghurt counts as meal prep.
🎂 41 · 💬 11 comments
Jordan: It absolutely does.
Leah: Wait, born 12/04/1999? Suddenly I feel ancient.
Jordan Patel
16 April at 18:33 · Friends
Local park walk completed. Fitness app says I was 'moderately active', which feels rude but fair.
🌳 17 · 💬 2 comments
Nina: Moderately iconic.
Jordan: I'll accept that.
Jordan Patel
19 April at 23:02 · Friends
Friday takeaway arrived 40 minutes late, but the pizza was emotionally supportive.
🍕 21 · 💬 3 comments
Samir: Did you share?
Jordan: I shared the concept.
Leah Brooks
21 April at 16:49 · Friends
Jordan just said he is 'sorting life admin'. Translation: he opened one email and rewarded himself with a biscuit.
😂 15 · 💬 2 comments
Jordan: Productivity is personal.
Nina: Biscuit-based project management.
Jordan Patel
23 April at 07:46 · Public
Today’s commute featured a man watching videos without headphones. Society is held together by very thin threads.
😬 12 · 💬 4 comments
Ava: Deeply unsettling.
Jordan: I know three songs from his playlist now.
Samir Khan
24 April at 19:55 · Friends
Jordan came round and immediately lost an argument with my cat. The cat has no qualifications but strong leadership presence.
🐈 38 · 💬 8 comments
Jordan: The cat made several valid points.
Leah: Promote the cat.
Jordan Patel
26 April at 11:27 · Friends
Bought new trainers. They make me look faster while standing still, which is probably the main thing.
👟 18 · 💬 3 comments
Nina: Performance footwear for walking to the fridge.
Jordan: Exactly.
Mia Carter
29 April at 14:10 · Public
Office update: someone labelled the decaf as 'emergency coffee'. This feels like a workplace wellbeing issue.
☕ 13 · 💬 4 comments
Jordan: That's not coffee. That's betrayal.
Ava: HR are aware.
Jordan Patel
2 May at 18:22 · Friends
Weekend plan: do nothing, then complain I didn't make the most of the weekend.
👍 27 · 💬 6 comments
Samir: A classic.
Jordan: Tradition matters.
Jordan: The tote bag chose me.
Samir: Classic self-control issue.